Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
美术馆三人戏，捕捉到话剧的影子。两个女人与男人的光影与真实交织轮替，步步紧逼地音乐，点到为止。
在年轻人都享受着快餐式男女关系的时候，一群中年男女却开始了慢时光的情感推拉。两场餐桌戏，第一场语速惊人，金句频出如炸弹掷地有声，“女人不为自己活过是不完整的”，是有这样的女性角色，对白才有这样的力量；第二场反而慢下来，借由老乌的爱情神话为现实里成年人拎得清的世故注入一点诗意。追思会上打破第四面墙，主角看向银幕这边的观众，似乎在说“我们看不懂费里尼，但还是有爱的能力的，你呢”。
轻松好笑又有点生硬，用反转刻板印象来反对刻板印象，总觉得有在努力女权但又陷入了刻板的二元圈套，但是电影就像上海一样浮于表面却也挺乐呵。“乳化什么乳化！不要随便乳化好伐啦！”
这部电影真的是吃不消啊。主线虚无缥缈，全靠上海的一些生活方式在攒动观影情绪。台词也是一边迎合讨好、一边阴阳怪气，感到不舒服。造谣索菲亚罗兰那段直接撞我枪口，扣一星。
用音乐来强行分段，想掩盖叙事节奏的平淡，失策了。质感不错，也有笑的地方。索菲亚罗兰那段很像《甜蜜蜜》的里姑妈和威廉荷顿，但没有后者那么动情。后面两个女人突然在画展对谈的梦幻造型在影片前面朴实的基调中显得突兀，有点强行叙述主题的嫌疑。老乌在里面承担的角色功能很模糊，最后倒想把他做成人物和观众的情感落点，意义不明
在给四星还是五星中间徘徊良久，看了下8.2分想想还是打了个五星。作为2021年的影院结尾挺好的。来上海整整六年了，虽然不会说上海话但是从小听到大还是挺亲切的，一些当代词汇还是很贴心地用普通话表达着。无比熟悉的剧院小马路咖啡馆图书馆画廊小天井复古单车临期商店，这确实就是生活在上海的文艺青年日常。但在当下这个时代我也会自我审查说这个片子会不会有一些人觉得被冒犯，觉得自己离这样的生活很远，觉得文艺向的审美就是高高在上秀优越感。回到剧情本身，我很享受这样缓慢流淌的节奏。人到中年，就算离婚了人也有娃，喜欢可以慢慢来，有精神追求的人总还是需要懂的人灵魂共振
与其说是爱情片，其实更像喜剧小品。立足于真实存在的具体城市切面进行创作，以及见缝插针的台词/潜台词，这些都是近些年国产商业片的稀罕东西。到后半段导演的笔力明显不够，显得有点松垮，结果高潮位变成依靠配角的独白完成的。作为新人长片首作而言相当可以，若能少几段自我指涉式的吐槽，以及配乐的数量、品味更成体系，或能风味更佳
跟我喜欢还潮的歌一样，知道有点缝合怪的意思，但就是好听好看呀。
对当代性和都市性的一个漂亮切片，某种程度上说是对上海modern life文化的接续。精巧又扎实，想想这故事发生在上海实在是太理所应当了，可发生在别的城市又的确让人难以置信。
到外滩十八号剧场聊天那段像是抽离出来的一段议论；结尾电影里的人看着电影院的我们，我们看着电影里的人
小神话。市井，烟火，小资，文艺，腔调，味道，很上海。但很小的面向，方方面面都过于干净、美好了一些。
话说这类片子才是正经“扛摄影机的人”应该多拍的电影啊！甚至看出了一些早期伍迪艾伦和埃里克侯麦的遗风，表演下沉够彻底，沪语和人设的搭配非常和谐，真正在过生活而非表演生活——虽然小资调调软绵绵的，但和上海的城市属性又十分投契。// PS. 徐峥一戴上假发就是真文艺，倪虹洁老师太棒了！
真的是有独特气质了，有点喜欢，像是某种话唠片的本土化变体，很好笑底色又没那么丧。戏里戏外都在询问你愿不愿意相信这个爱情神话，简单的小美好了。好喜欢这几个演员啊～
平安夜太适合看这个电影了。太能体会老白了，哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，断舍离，不都是在上课嘛，活到老，学到老。我也想像老乌一样，跟朋友喝一场，然后安然死去（不过我好像没朋友…现在的唯一目标：健康活到四十，然后死去，捐献遗体。无双太美了～而且居然有红拂夜奔！还是要相信神话，为情绪加一星吧。
唉，中年男人的困顿看得自己难受。爱情确实没有神话，友情一定有。配乐太考究了，没有想到之前打了个低🌟的八仙饭店，在电影里插入这么好听。
完成度不错，一个精致流畅的女性都市小品，既解构神话也不乏对自己的神话的自嘲，7.5—8分之间。上海人更喜欢一点也自然，方言放在那里。谁喜欢谁不喜欢说到底有什么关系，毕竟这是一座以“管侬啥事体？！”为口头禅的城市～～
其实你跟你姥你姨儿搁堆儿加一块都比不上你妈万分之一熊，你那点少女怀春小叛逆不过是在洪荒熊力面前洒洒水啦🥲
看起来平淡，没有特别抓马的情节和歇斯底里的爱情故事，但是就好像在看身边人的故事。三个女性都很有亮点，马伊琍和这种上海小女人适配度很高。
不一样的地方是两性关系的设定不再刻板狗血，反而都是活生生有自己想法的独立人格人，每个年龄段都是。
7分，对应《包宝宝》，其实很多话题还是延续或者说是延伸的。控制欲的母亲与渴望寻找自己的子女，相对没什么存在感的父亲，也算是从短片到长片的又一次阐释吧。对应影片的2002年，也刚好是导演13岁的时候，或者，在这部电影里，她也融入了很多自己的生命体验。同时，即便影片自己就否认了月经这件事，但这个设定，包括英文片名，其实都是一种暗示吧，当然，也可以延伸为对成长的暗示。Y2K的年代感，倒是带出不少回忆。此外，有人看到巴斯光年么
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