Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
3.5 比起電影本身，更有趣的是怎樣看待這部商業電影作為荷里活最頂級的電影工業和大英愛國文化輸出的全力支持下的產物。某程度上來說很主旋律，和另一個打不死系列職業特攻隊最大的分別就是，James Bond這個符號並非只是明星制度的產物，也不是現在米老鼠超英片那種借漫畫外殼打造遊樂場帝國的流水線生產，而是折射了冷戰時代至今大英帝國在衰落的餘光下嘗試抓住舊日光輝的國民自尊心。所以Bond必然是父權的象徵，Bond女郎如何現代女權化甚至成為另一個007也只是男人的襯托，甚至故意模糊國籍的反派即使找了個人特色很強的演員，最重要的只有Bond，還有最後女王陛下的戰艦。不過還是要誇讚導演和演員，動作設計比Marvel之流強多了，美術（冰湖/毒島）明顯下了心思，劇情套路但接近3小時的片長毫無悶場，福永值得
很好笑，跟诺丁山一样宅男遇女明星，最反差也最引人发噱的还是和家人聚餐的环节——这跟诺丁山也是一样的，总有这些电影让人感受到生活里的小确幸
很有趣的故事，男主所在的洛杉矶墨西哥大家庭街区被描绘得活灵活现，真的就是这样热情洋溢，反观女主虽然有钱有美貌却很孤独不热闹；valet的兄弟们看见美女朝他走来惊愕不解羡慕的表情太逗了~还有就是前妻啊美女啊什么的，一知道他身边有alpha对象了就都对他抛媚眼儿了，人真是太贱了~
大反派们的内卷也太严重了，黑寡妇编出信息素锁，007造了个纳米机器人情花毒。。。不得不说，超英界最有思想的ip还得说xmen。
没有落入俗套的电影，男主找到了自己的感情归属，跟女主也成为了真正的朋友，让我真正为他动容的是他在母亲葬礼那段话，深刻，动容，真诚，回头看电影可以直接跳看那段。
汉斯季默终于显得不那么多余了。
太刻意了 所有元素刻意人为的拼凑在一起 连笑点都刻意
诺丁山般的女明星和普通人。种族间的文化增添了些内容，葬礼的悼词不错，结局不落俗套就很好～
给女主一杯金酸梅奖不过分。
好棒啊近期最佳 好笑的地方笑得扭 好哭的地方也很好哭 本来以为会是个很俗套的故事 但是处理的很好 这种各族人和谐相处的感觉也好棒啊
这个结尾太屎了，这是丹尼尔克雷格的告别，不是邦德的告别，完全将丹尼尔克雷格凌驾在了邦德之上，电影主创对系列颇不尊重啊！难怪油管上几个007铁粉播主都气得不行😓蕾雅赛杜这一部里就像是灰原哀，什么都知道却什么都不说，早点开诚布公不得了，真受不了这种闷嘴葫芦的美惨人设。
剧情不新鲜，但是整部电影有着松弛感，男女主最后没走恋爱相，而是友情更打动人心。另双女撕渣男好评
结局不落俗套 非常推荐 另：女主的身材太好了吧
虽很有美国式政治正确的电影，不过很开心的喜剧
本片的主角是一个在高级餐馆给别人停车的泊车员以及一个金发美女模特伊莲娜。泊车员有一个自己喜欢的在书店上班的女友，伊莲娜是一个已婚富翁政客比埃尔的情人。这几个人本来生活毫不相干，但是有一天：泊车员向女友求婚被拒绝，很沮丧地走在街上；金发名模和情人政客在大街上争执，被记者拍摄；就在拍摄的一瞬间，刚巧泊车员路过，三个人的头像同时出现在时尚周刊上。
还好不是偶像剧结局，女子突然和男主看对眼，在一起幸福生活，朋友关系才是最正常，最合适的，让彼此能够相处愉悦的关系，不过确实剧情，演技都亮点不多
出人意料的好看
虽然不知道对少数族裔的描写是真诚还是假惺惺，结尾竟然没落入俗套。我预感我的中年生活就像男主那样，只是不会有大明星降临。Samara的脸突然多了好多皱纹。
嗯，好好工作，说不定好人会走好运。
出乎意料的我竟然一口气看完了，虽俗套，但是挺温馨的
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